Some fucking people..

I really need to keep up with this blogging thing. I told myself that if i started a blog. Id stay commited to it for at least a year. So many thoughts lately. Hard to keep them in my brain. This is a reminder for me of things to blog about.

Arrogent folk.

Money and all it's continous woe's.

Lack of desire in the workplace.

2012.

Dads side of the fam.

Holidays.

That should give me some thougts for a later time. For i am not in the mood right now.

Singer

One of those FML situations

Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread. That's what they say about people who dive into things that don't turn out successfully. But when someone reaches for a seemingly foolhardy goal and succeeds - well, that's a different story. So what really matters is the outcome. Im not worried about what others are thinking or even about what they're saying.  Let people talk. I are dreaming a dream that I need to pursue at full throttle, no matter what anyone thinks.

My current situation with my lifes passion is as follows.

We had money. My wife told me i gould go get what i needed to start whatever it is i am trying to start.. and then we had to sink all of our money into a car... which. Is fine.. thats what the money was initially intended for. However i am very sad. I dont know why its effecting me this way. I am actually depressed. It's probably because i dont have a clue now when im going to actually get a guitar and amp. Or to be more spacific.. how ill be able to come up with the money.. at the rate we save money ill have my gear by 2012..

I feel like bethoveen without a piano.

Singer

The typist of forward motion

As a person who used to be surrounded by people constantly.  What little friends i have these days, i truely value. Some people don't quite understand how much i appreciate their friendship. Im not sure what it is about me, but i have a constant need to connect with people. Learn about their lives and experiences. Weather they are on a similar path as i am makes no distinction on how i choose people I let into my life.  The world is a small place and there are so many people in it. I try to learn something new about someone every day. Mostly i accomplish this at work.

I was speaking with an elderly couple tonight. Small talk at first as most initial relationships build from. I was asking them how they were and trying to be as polite as possible. The proceeded to eat their food.  As slow as it's been around here i was actually able to go and sit with them to talk for a bit.

I learned that the gentleman harold has frequented taco bells all over MN. And that their grandson works in the same district as me. Small world. We proceeded to discuss the taco bell franchise built thru-out MN and our franchise owner. I had to break away for a bit to continue working. As they were finishing up they came up to the counter to say goodbye and thank you. He continued for a moment to tell me if id ever worked at the hinkley taco bell. I said no. But that i had lived close to it in a nearby city called Pine City. And there it was. The connecting point. Harolds wife perked right up! Id guess she was pushing 80 years old. She proceeded to tell me that she has caught her first fish on the lake thats in the middle of pine city when she was 10 years old.. sharing childhood memories with a complete stranger.. pretty facinating.

I will give absolutuly anyone the time of day. Simply because you never know what you are going to learn from that person.

Singer

Thursday nights make me feel like dancing

Ahh yes. It means the end of the week for me. The weeks are seemingly getting more and more stressful and redundant. Its going to work. Its coming home, realizing that my wife is working to support us more than i am. and i am working 50 plus hours a week.

How does this system work? It makes no sense how some people are just handed things and others are killing themselves just to keep their heads above water? And when i say heads above water, i mean the water is slightly entering their nostrils.. when does it get easier? Does it? Because this isn't the happy life i envisioned when i was younger.

To be completely honest i dont know what i had in mind for my future. All i knew then, was that i wanted to be a rich and famous rockstar. Well. I think that ship has sailed. We'll see i guess. If there is one thing i've learned over the years. As cliche as it sounds. Life is full of suprises. Mine has comprised itself of many bad suprises. Just waiting for those good ones to start rolling in. I really feel like i deserve better than this.. I know my wife does. And if this doesnt start to turn around, i fear my wife will wake up and realize that she could have done so much better than me. Not that im all bad. But i do have quite a bit of baggage that i can't really get rid of..

Thats all for now folks

Singer

Bloggy blog blog before work.

My wife.
She is the love of my life. She is a hard working, brilliant women. I really don't deserve to have someone so amazing in my life. I sure am lucky to have her. She woke me up this morning posing a question. Though I may think she is thinking a little to far into it. It was still a valid question.
She asked me. " am I getting in the way of you and your music "
Of course not babe.. All i was simply stating was that in life, we CHOOSE where our priorities fall. Weather it's a conscious decision or not. We still make the choices that lead us to where we are now. I chose to leave music. Now I am choosing coming back to it. In my mind it's as easy as that. There are no favorites. Those things I listed in my previous blog.. I love all of them equally. It's just the difference of what I choose to do for a hobby, and what my life consists of on a day to day.

I'm staring at a video camera that I bought just after we got married.. Wishing I used it more. Maybe i'll use it this weekend. I have so much video footage of past music projects.. I really gotta get working on those.


Singer

Welcome to the party!

Ok. Cool. I have a blog again. I think the last time I had a blog was 2001.. When livejournal was a BIG deal. I actually think my livejournal can be found in some graveyard somewhere. I wouldn’t dare go read it. I don’t want to remember how pathetic I was 10 years ago. It’s amazing to think how much people change over a short span of time like 10 years..

I’m at work right now. Blogging via cell phone. Ahhh technology.

Speaking of technology.. I have a new endeavor as a musician. I’m trying my hardest to start a new band/project. After being out of the whole music scene for so long. 2 and a half years at this point. Its veryyy hard to break back into.. So hard in fact that I’m stuck on choosing genera that would do well with today’s abstract music tastes.

I have come up with this.. and mind you. It is still in very pre-planning stages.. "trance/electronica/ambient-rock"    yes. I even find it hard to picture right now. But I am determined to make it work. I haven’t heard of anyone doing anything similar.. So it could either be awesome. Or a total flop.

Finding the time to even sit down and collect my thoughts about this whole adventure is hard enough. Where I’m going to actually find the time to practice and play shows... well.. That’s a far cry from where I’m sitting in life right now.

I've messed around with some ideas on the computer in my fleeting moments of free time. Electronic music is something I have only created out of boredom. And the songs that have been born of it are mediocre at best. Trying to get into the mindset of... ok this is me taking something to the next level. Is very difficult. There are so many good electronica producers and artists out there I feel as if I don’t stand a chance creating something like they do. Granted they have all the tools, time, and money, to do this for a living. So I guess they have somewhat of an advantage over me. Whereas I have 2 kids, a wife, a fulltime job. And thennn this faint dream that I could still do something with music.

Obviously in life priorities take the lead. I wish that wasn’t the case. If we didn’t have to think like that. So structured. We would have more time to live out our dreams. Try new things. I may be an anarchist at heart. Haven’t decided.

Over the next few blogs you will be introduced to me. My life. My loves. And everything in between. This blog is more for me to poorly write about things I care about. Or even things that I hate. Because let’s face it. Life doesn’t go the way we want it to sometimes.

Singer